There is what the specialists say about it and which they describe perfectly but which they do not really understand. Namely: attention deficit, hyperactivity of the body as well as impulsivity. The first suggests an inability to maintain attention, to complete a task, as well as frequent forgetfulness. Motor hyperactivity refers to incessant restlessness and the inability to sit still. As for impulsivity, we observe a difficulty in waiting, a tendency to interrupt the activities of others and a strong need for attention.
In view of these "symptoms" can we really speak of pathology?
A child needs love and psychological security to grow serenely during the great period of construction of his personality, between 0 and 12 years approximately. He therefore needs to be loved, caressed, listened to, taken into consideration. But also educated and accompanied in gentleness and respect, with kindness. His need for physical and psychological security are essential for the integrity of his person. He needs to discover the wonderful nature that surrounds him, discover how vegetables grow, learn to be independent, learn to think (and not what to think) etc... Without this, the little being will develop a deep insecurity that will affect his emotional state, thus modifying his relationship to others and to things.
There is the environment in which he lives.
More than half of the world's population is urban. This is an important factor to take into account because the dehumanization of cities generates a distorted relationship with the environment and with others. There reigns a chaotic, violent, noisy, polluted, artificial and stressed social organization. We accept these constraints in the violence of everyday life because we are concerned by his advancement and his career, isn't it?
It is often a question of personal and selfish choices, which do not take into account the well-being and development of the child. We live in warrior mode. You have to fight to move forward, like a battlefield... And the children have to follow the movement, that is to say the violence of an uprooting and injunctions to conform to an anxiety-provoking model. You only have to look at the number of burnouts to understand the extent of the damage. We hold the illusion for a few years before we decide to change our life. The luckiest realize that they have lost a few years, thus missing out on the education of children, the construction of a harmonious family life, all at the risk of their health.
The ambition is such that we disregard the essential to devote ourselves only to its future and to their small career as leaders of this rather than that. And then a decade later it's the carnage. The building is cracked all over, the boat is taking on water, and it's only a matter of time before the whole structure collapses. We then drag ourselves into the simulacra. It is increasingly difficult to pretend that everything is fine, and getting up in the morning to face disillusion is an obstacle course. We are out of breath, drained, worn out, aging, petty. We have given too much in the contradictions. It is high time to leave the place and recover your health elsewhere than in the metropolis.
We then favor green and reconnection with nature, far from the noise, pollution and aberration of the metropolis. We begin a conversion to sow carrots or contribute to the development of a fair-trade women's cooperative in the depths of Morocco. The quest for meaning motivates the process. We suddenly have the feeling of having missed out on life. There is bitterness and anger that will have to be healed to regain some semblance of emotional balance.
Health and fulfillment are not the result of professional adaptation. Living a fulfilling existence, in which order and virtue reign, free from conflicts and fears, cannot be reduced to the traditional pattern of professional success. We need to take a step back and have a global view of our existence. Healthy living means doing what you say, without compromising yourself. All of this is of course to the detriment of the children, their psychological safety and their development.
Then comes the school of the republic.
The question arises: how to make a child adapt to a new world of constraints and rules, outside the family cocoon, outside parental love, in a Jungle populated by all kinds of specimens already well under way by various conditionings . The child feels abandoned, left to himself. He then begins to develop various and varied disorders. Nothing more normal. He is left behind in a system far too early, helpless, in the violence of an authority he does not understand, with the blessing of parents.
We have betrayed our children out of selfishness and ambition, abandoning them in the school system, asking the latter to educate them in our place. If we loved our children deeply, we would give them all our attention and prepare them to face the unknown with a solid foundation of love and time. But time seems to be running out, because the career does not wait sir. We then delegate our fundamental role for the benefit of nanny, maternal assistance and a system obsessed with the method. All those who have "succeeded" are pitiful. They are experts in making money but their life is full of failures. Sentimentally, it is the desert. They pile up divorces, joint custody and child support, in addition to the suffering and trauma of children.
To paint a complete picture, we must address this way of life which consists of turning on the television in the morning to watch the violence of Walt Disney cartoons made in the US, then entrusting a smartphone to the children so that they can fill up with images and 5G waves in order to anesthetize them and have peace. Food is also a subject. The lack of time means that we often consume industrial foods with the ingestion of all kinds of endocrine disruptors.
When we take stock, we suddenly wonder why our child does not already function as a perfect little soldier adapted to this sick world. But how is it that he needs so much attention? Really, do you want to know? Well, he lacks love, the truth, not the simulacrum that is offered to him, which is only a big masquerade to be able to be free to work for his advancement, for his apple.
In general, the couple also fights garlic, reinforcing the insecurity in the child. It is often at the center of all contradictions. It is ambition, the fruit of education and the culture in which we live, that leads individuals to mortgage the present for an improbable future. The couple's daily life and family life immediately pay the price. So we take refuge in work or sport, we come home later and later. We weren't vigilant or attentive, that's all! And it is the children who are sacrificed. they know very well what is happening to them. So they suffer in silence, under the weight of what is left unsaid.
What is called ADHD, this barbaric term is none other than the cruel lack of love and attention given to one's offspring. But it is possible to turn the tide. It is still time. Emotional coaching makes it possible to become aware of the global nature of the phenomena at work and to free oneself from them. This requires awareness in the parents, and reassurance in the child. Then the whole family can get back to living together happily.
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