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The personal quest and the couple.


Life in a boat is unique. Great care is needed so that everyone can live there serenely. Due to the reduced space, we quickly discover that everyone must work for the group and not individually. It imposes a rigorous attitude unselfish. It is therefore out of generosity that harmony can exist. Being totally attentive menas great sensitivity, otherwise chaos can quickly reign in the couple...

Life in a boat is unique. Great care is needed so that everyone can live there serenely. Due to the reduced space, we quickly discover that everyone must work for the group and not individually. It imposes a rigorous attitude unselfish. It is therefore out of generosity that harmony can exist. Being totally attentive menas great sensitivity, otherwise chaos can quickly reign in the couple...


We live our life in a way that is disconnected from reality. There is the idea and the fact of what is really happening. The couple is often at the center of all contradictions. It is ambition, the fruit of education and the culture in which we live that leads individuals to mortgage the present for an improbable future. It is often the couple and the family life that suffers great losses. So we take refuge in work or sport, we come home later and later, and we find all the excuses to escape reality. We then come face to face with the fact that there is no more love in union, this institution..


We weren't vigilant or attentive, that's all ! We then stay together for convenience, for obligation, for the children and not to be alone. We maintain the image of the happy couple, but lies, hypocrisy and corruption are in the air.

In the meantime we work for our little career, we accumulate money and we live a false existence. We justify all this disorder by saying that it is the same everywhere, that there are naturally ups and downs in all couples etc. We observe others and we reassure ourselves by finding the same problems in our friends and neighbors. In short, we level ourselves in mediocrity. We invent justifications to continue to exploit each other in mariage, this other institution. And it is the children who are sacrificed. They know what is going on them, so they suffer in silence, under the weight of the unspoken.


But what happened ? They looked so happy in the wedding photos : a true fairy tale... But selfishness leads the individual to accept a life of conflict without beauty nor love. And the more obvious the disorder, the less communication there is. We then avoid talking about the essentials, we pretend that everything is normal.

We could solve the problems by going deeper into the subject together, but no. Personal interests take over. We also realize that we are trapped in traditional patterns, after copying our parents, in the images, to create illusions when facing others. We care a lot about the people think, but no one is fooled. We deny ourselves the obvious, we deny the total failure of our way of life. We are then tied up, handcuffed, gagged. We have accumulated so many verbal wounds in our memory over the years that we feel incapable of making the slightest compromise, each one camping on his position, his certainties, his little point of view. We know deep down that everything is already dead, it is a matter of time.


It would only take a little honesty and abandoning the image that we have built of ourselves, then seeing the facts, accepting that the greatness we attribute to ourselves does not reflect what we have become : small and mean. All this without condemning, justifying, or fleeing.. and from this observation the truth could prevail.

But it involves awareness and a change of behavior. One can no longer just blindly persists in ambition. That's pretty straightforward to figure out, isn't it ? Understanding the danger of a hypocritical existence involves profoundly changing one's habits. It requires a healthy mind, honest and passionate, a selfless attitude that does not seek psychological security at all costs. Here again, it is thought that creates all this disorder, through becoming and ego, projection in time. Thought fuels the pleasure of power, of status, and the fear of losing it.


But what is the quality of the mind that understands the mechanisms of thought, not intellectually but factually ? Such a spirit then abandons the race and the personal quest.
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