We are about to sail again tomorrow. Thus, we will leave Corunna early in the morning to go south. It's a funny feeling to always be on the move and not get attached to people and places. Attachment is a kind of identification, a need for psychological security. But does security really exist? We can lose a loved one, get sick, be fired, have our house on fire, be dumped overnight etc. Nothing lasts forever. Yet everything action we take has to do with an attempt to accumulate security. Even in death we hope to leave something to posterity, so as not to die, so that a part of us may endure beyond. In short, we want to perpetuate what we are, and that is to say our fears, our selfishness, existential emptiness and oversized ego. What is the point?
To ignore security is to live without restraint, tension and fear of uncertainty. It is also discovering our existence from moment to moment, unburden by the past. For only the inner flame remains then, and the latter has no need of expressing itself, it is content to be.
It is quite difficult to share how we feel with each other. There are so many barriers, protections, distrust and isolation. And yet it is easy to realize that we are experiencing the same anxieties, the same joys and the same illusions. And how good it is to feel connected, an integral part of the earth and all living things. Not to be in direct contact with others is to live in sadness, fear and isolation. Living as a couple does not necessarily mean that we are connected to each other.
We can live with a perfect stranger out of habit, out of fear of being alone, sex addiction, need for subordination, jealousy, attachment...
We call love this mutual exploitation contract named marriage. Being truly connected to the other means no images of oneself (my husband, wife, business manager, father, etc.), because these images divide and create distance and isolation. But to love is quite another thing. No attachment, no dependence, no jealousy, no need for control. Then we can begin to love.
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